At the end of the day, we all just want to be accepted and loved for who we truly are.
Welcome!
I’m Carmen, and I love meeting people in a heart-to-heart space.
Whether you're navigating specific challenges or seeking a deeper connection with yourself and others, I’m here to co-create a space where you can hopefully feel safe enough to bring curiosity to all aspects of yourself.
This journey may not always feel easy, and I don't promise that you'll love every step, but I deeply believe that there is nothing more settling and transformative than reconnecting with the parts of ourselves that we’ve learned to shame ourselves about and disconnected from (yes, we all have those).
I don’t believe in shortcuts and quick fixes, and I cannot make the hard stuff disappear. What I do believe in is the power of together as we navigate life’s ebbs and flows. And what I can do is to be with you in this journey, be curious about your experience and explore together what might be getting in the way of you connecting more with your innate wisdom, your authenticity, and your spontaneous impulses towards connection, joy, and aliveness.
To see if working together might be a good fit, don’t hesitate to reach out.
Research study
Exploring potential connections between adverse childhood experiences, self-rejection and autoimmune diseases
At the foundation of my practice lies the NeuroAffective Relational Model® (NARM), an advanced clinical approach particularly developed to address the consequences of attachment, relational, developmental and complex trauma (C-PTSD). These types of trauma often stem from prolonged exposure to adverse childhood experiences, chronic neglect, misattunement, as well as emotional and physical abuse. Additionally, they may have roots in pre- and perinatal experiences, as well as systemic, cultural and intergenerational dynamics.
Complementing NARM, I also integrate Somatic Experiencing® in my work. This approach is particularly effective in addressing single-time traumatic experiences with clear beginnings and ends, such as car accidents, falls, unescapable attacks, medical procedures, and more.
Explore further below the distinctive elements of each approach and discover how they contribute to fostering emotional health and post-traumatic growth.
My approach
NARM at a glance
-
When therapy focuses on deficiency, pain, and dysfunction, clients become skilled at orienting toward deficiency, pain, and dysfunction. But the reality is that despite the challenges and adversity we all faced in our lives, we survived. So alongside trauma adaptations, we also carry significant resources and capacitiess that we may or may not be aware of.
NARM is a model for therapy and growth that emphasizes working with strengths as well as with symptoms. It orients towards resources, both internal and external, in order to support the development of an increased capacity for self regulation.
NARM is not a goal-oriented approach, but an inquiry-based, depth-oriented, relational model that invites the therapist and the client to bring curiosity to the obstacles that might be preventing them from accessing their spontaneous impulses towards connection, health, and aliveness.
-
In NARM, there's no need for exhaustive 'archaeological digging' into client’s life's history. What's relevant from your past and you carry forward in your present will naturally surface during our sessions. This approach eliminates the need for lengthy recounts of your entire life story. Instead, we'll embark on a joint curiosity journey, exploring what unfolds moment by moment in the relational field between us.
-
NARM is a non-pathologizing approach, which respects and honors the adaptive strategies we developed in response to attachment, relational or developmental trauma. Rather than focusing on behavioral changes and symptoms' extinction, NARM encourages curiosity about the underlying drivers of our behaviors and the messages that our symptoms may be trying to communicate.
-
Many forms of therapy tend to emphasize and focus on one of these dimensions, which often limits the effectiveness of the process. For example, as helpful as it may be to get a new insight, to rationally understand what's driving a certain reaction and to cognitively reframe a certain belief, that alone is unlikely to enable long term change.
By working simultaneously bottom-up (i.e. with cognitions and emotions) and top-down (with somatic reactions, the felt sense, and instinctive responses mediated through the brain stem), NARM supports the possibility of deeper, embodied shifts in how we relate to ourselves and others.
-
NARM supports the possibility of reconnecting to who we truly are beyond the learned adaptive behaviors, strategies, and identifications that emerged in response to early life adversities.
In NARM we trust that the spontaneous movement in all of us is toward connection, health and aliveness.
As Laurence Heller -the creator of NARM- beautifully says, ‘no matter how withdrawn and isolated we have become, or how serious the trauma we have experienced, on the deepest level, just as a plant spontaneously moves towards the sun, there is in each of us an impulse moving toward connection, health and aliveness. This organismic impulse is the fuel of the NARM approach.'
Is NARM suitable for you?
NARM's applications encompass a broad range of challenges related to negative self-image, relational difficulties, and emotional dysregulation. While the list below is not exhaustive, it provides a glimpse into the various aspects we can address in NARM sessions.
Negative self-image
Feeling undeserving, unworthy, not enough, defective, or inadequate in some ways
Struggling with low self-confidence, a pervasive sense of self-doubt, perfectionism and very high standards
Tendencies to overwork or burn yourself out
Constantly comparing yourself to others
Persistent patterns of self-shame, guilt, or self-blame
Perceiving yourself as unattractive or ugly
Difficulty accepting compliments or positive feedback
Fear of failure and avoidance of new challenges
Associating personal value with external achievements (e.g. money, status, results, etc.)
Feeling inadequate in social situations and avoiding them due to fear of rejection
Assuming that others are always evaluating, judging or criticizing you
Feeling like a burden to others
Experiencing obsessive thoughts about perceived physical appearance flaws
Engaging in self-deprecating comments or negative self-talk related to your body, your physical aspect or any other aspects of yourself
Constantly looking to prove yourself or seeking external validation to feel worthwhile
Relational challenges
Difficulties in expressing yourself authentically and expressing what you need
Difficulties in setting healthy boundaries and saying no without guilt or fear
Feeling you can't rely on anyone else but yourself
Feeling disconnected from yourself and others
Difficulties in establishing and maintaining stable, fulfilling relationships
Difficulties committing to relationships or projects
Fear of being vulnerable or opening your heart in relationships
Tendency to be overly independent in relationships, hindering the development of intimacy and healthy interdependence
Struggling to receive others’ love and care
Engaging in patterns of isolation or withdrawal to avoid potential relational challenges or conflicts
Experiencing intense anxiety or fear of being abandoned or rejected
Sacrificing your own needs and desires to avoid conflict or maintain certain relationships
Finding it challenging to trust others and delegate any tasks
Difficulty in giving and receiving feedback
Repeatedly finding yourself in relationships that are harmful or unsupportive
Self-regulation difficulties
Feeling anxious or hypervigilant, always scanning for potential threats around you
Significant difficulty in tolerating children’s sadness, anger or helplessness
Feeling emotionally overwhelmed in response to seemingly minor stressors
Engaging in impulsive / addictive behaviors such as consuming excessive amounts of sugar, substances, porn, etc.
Obsessive thoughts or compulsive behaviours (cleaning, disinfecting, etc.)
Excessive need to control aspects of yourself, others or the environment around you
Strong feelings of sadness or despair without a clear cause
Frequent mood swings that are challenging to predict or control
Anger outbursts or prolonged irritability
Experiencing chronic feelings of emptiness or numbness
Difficulty in calming down after experiencing heightened emotional states
Tendency to dissociate or disconnect from emotions as a coping mechanism
Difficulty in living in the present moment, tolerating pleasure, joy, expansion or aliveness
Difficulty slowing down and resting
“No matter how withdrawn and isolated we have become or how serious the trauma we experienced, on the deepest level, just as a plant spontaneously moves toward sunlight, there is in each of us an impulse moving toward connection, health and aliveness. This organismic impulse is the fuel of NARM.”
— Laurence Heller, creator of the Neuro-Affective Relational Model
Somatic Experiencing at a glance
-
Somatic Experiencing (SE™) is a body-oriented therapeutic model developed by dr. Peter Levine, who closely studied stress on the animal nervous system. He came to realize that animals are constantly under threat of death, yet show no symptoms of trauma. What he discovered was that shock trauma has to do with the third survival response to perceived life threat, which is freeze. When fight and flight are not options, both animals and humans freeze and immobilize, like “playing dead.” This makes us less of a target. However, this reaction is time-sensitive, meaning that it needs to run its course, and once the danger passes, the massive energy that was prepared for fight or flight needs to be discharged. Animals do this through shakes and trembling.
If the imobility phase doesn’t complete, then that sympathetic charge stays trapped, and, from the body’s perspective, it is still under threat.
In Somatic Experiencing, the focus is on facilitating the discharge of the energy mobilized for fight or flight and turn off this ‘threat alarm’ that often causes severe dysregulation.
-
In Somatic Experiencing (SE™), we recognize the body's inherent wisdom in processing the stress and shock resulting from single-time traumatic experiences with clear begining and end.
Unlike traditional therapeutic models, SE places a profound emphasis on the body's role in storing and discharging traumatic stress.
This approach enables individuals to navigate patterns of fight, flight, or freeze, unlocking the body's natural capacity to release, recover, and become more resilient after single-time traumatic experiences.
-
Similar to NARM, in Somatic Experiencing we don’t do ‘archaeological digging’ into the client’s life history either. What is important for the therapeutical process will emerge spontaneously as the session unfolds.
Furthermore, there’s no need recall or to share the details of the traumatic experiences you’ve experienced. On the contrary; to avoid the possibility of overwhelming the nervous system, we carefully navigate the stories in the sessions. Rather than talking about what happened, we bring awareness to the internal sensations and bodily impulses in the present moment.
-
In Somatic Experiencing, the symptoms associated to Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) are seen as consequences of undischarged sympathetic energy that could not find its way out of the system by means of successfully completing a defensive response.
Thus, SE's focus is on completing self-protective motor responses and discharging trapped survival energy stored in the body in the aftermath of single-time traumatic experiences with clear begining and ends (car accidents, falls, unescapable attack, medical procedures, etc.)
Accompanying you in your journey
The following areas fall within the scope of my expertise
Anxiety, stress management, burnout
Shame, guilt, self-criticism
Negative self-image
Relational / interpersonal challenges
Self-regulation difficulties
Expat experiences and adjustment
Career and professional transitions
Navigating parenthood challenges
Well-being, personal development
The following areas fall outside the scope of my expertise
Couple therapy, child & adolescent therapy
Complex personality disorders
Self-harm / suicidal attempts
Life crises and emergency situations
Terminal illnesses
Latest articles
What clients say
Book a free discovery session.
A free, 15-minute conversation to see whether working together would be the right fit.